Couple gets angry at future bridesmaid for not spending all her money on their wedding: ‘Apparently because I wasn’t putting the wedding first financially, I was being viewed as a bad friend’

Author image for Olivia Arocena
Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Oct 4, 2026 9:45 AM EDT

I guess we have all learned the lesson by now. Weddings have stopped being about celebrating love and have become an absolute cash grab

Since when do we have to pay so much money to be INVITED to a wedding? It makes absolutely no sense, and I don't understand how this woman got so far without saying anything.

If being a bridesmaid costs you a lot of money, that should be your first red flag. If the grooms are rich, they should pay for your attendance so you can enjoy the party. If they can't afford a wedding party, they shouldn't have one, or they should have one that adapts to their budget. It really is that simple.

Friends shouldn't be allowed to comment on your financial decisions so freely or ask you to take on debt for them, no matter how important a wedding is to them. No cultural reason justifies this behavior.

It's unbelievable how some things make people completely blind to the fact that they're acting completely entitled. I wouldn't go as far as to say the future grooms aren't really this woman's friends, but I would definitely reconsider their participation in her life from now on.

Your wedding party shouldn't be paid by your guests unless you explicitly ask them to. Also, they have to say yes, so they should have the option. I mean, you're not entitled to it.  

Weddings are getting weirder and weirder these days, and this one is apparently a Ponzi scheme. I'm wondering: if your friends can do this to you, are they really your friends?

Maybe I'm overreacting because I don't understand the whole wedding thing, but this is extremely weird to me. I wonder if the couple does this consciously. It's just as bad if they do it out of entitlement or pure malice, but I wonder.

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  • GOP S2MO 438-000
    via Arlet Padrón Benítez

    How crazy these brides are

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  • Bestfriend told me to take out a credit card for her wedding..

    My (ex) best friend is getting married in 2 years, and I was going to be a bridesmaid. The costs associated with being a bridesmaid were coming to around £3000 once everything was included -
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  • dress, hair and makeup, accommodation, travel/flights, food, wedding-related events. She also kept adding costs on and not asking if this was okay.
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  • I want to make it clear that I had all intention on saving for this wedding over the next 2 years even though I considered the costs to be extreme.
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  • The problem was that my friend wanted money to be paid towards the wedding now and into her bank account.
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  • At the time, I was struggling financially because me and my boyfriend had just moved house. And it just so happened that within that same month she decided to start her wedding
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  • planning (she was engaged for 3 years), so I told her honestly that the wedding wasn't my financial priority right now. I apologised for that because I understood that it was important to her, but in my mind the wedding
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  • was still two years away and I needed to make sure I could afford my basic living expenses first. Everytime I saw her she would ask me when will I be sending her the money. This started to make me
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  • really uncomfortable and I kept having to explain my own financial situation. Her fiancé later questioned why I couldn't just take out a credit card, saying words to the effect of: "if you're not already
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  • in debt, what's the problem with taking out a credit card to pay for the wedding?" He also said that he would consider someone a bad friend for not paying towards the wedding now.
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  • FYI - I do not have a credit card and I'm proud that the only debt I have is my phone bill and car finance. For context, they themselves are around £60,000 in debt (credit cards and loans), which
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  • made the expectation that I should be comfortable taking on debt for their wedding particularly difficult for me to understand. Her fiancé sounded very stressed when he told me about their debt but he
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  • continued to question my financial situation. Their wedding is around £45k. Then, a few weeks later, the situation completely escalated. It became apparent to me that my friend had been
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  • paying extremely close attention to what I was spending money on and had seemingly been keeping track of things I had bought over the preceding months. My boyfriend and I had recently moved into a new
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  • home. We'd saved for this move and bought things for the house because we needed them. At one point, my boyfriend bought a rug, and my friend used this against me as evidence that I apparently could afford things but wasn't
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  • prioritising her wedding. She also brought up the fact that I had travelled by train to visit another friend for a weekend. It was literally one train journey using my railcard, to see a friend who needed me.
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  • Suddenly, things like what I had bought for our home, what my boyfriend had bought, and one train journey were being used as evidence that I wasn't making enough effort financially for her wedding.
    via Previous-Air4588
  • Cheezburger Image 10667706624
    via Alexander Grey

    All your money should go to your friends wedding then

    Licensed media provided as editorial context



     

  • What upset me most was the principle of it. For months, I had been trying to manage my money around rent, food, bills and essential expenses. Aside from those things, buying
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  • things we'd saved for for our new home, and one train journey to see a friend, I didn't feel I was irresponsibly spending money. But apparently, because I wasn't putting the
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  • wedding first financially, I was being viewed as a bad friend. And I genuinely don't understand that expectation when the wedding is two years away. These costs were
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  • completely sprung onto me. What hurt even more was realising that my spending was seemingly being monitored and later brought back up as evidence against me. It
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  • made me feel like I couldn't look at the friendship in the same way anymore. Ultimately, the friendship has ended because I chose to walk away. I couldn't look at her the
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  • same way after everything that had happened. It wasn't simply about the £3,000 or the wedding. anymore. It was the feeling that my financial circumstances had been scrutinised and that things I bought with money I'd
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  • saved, things my boyfriend bought, and even a train ticket to visit another friend were being used to determine whether I was a good enough friend. I know I put a lot into the friendship over the 17
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  • years we were best- friends. we were long distance for a long time and I was the only one that travelled to see her. She didn't visit me once. I never brung any of the little things up because I did them out of love but as
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  • soon as her wedding costs came about - I was suddenly a bad friend. I simply sent her a text that said I was bowing out of the friendship and I wish. her all the best, she responded with a long paragraph questioning
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  • "are you not going to defend yourself" about all the 'spending' I had done. recently. I never replied to that
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  • Cheezburger Image 10667706880
    via Elisa Photography

    At this rate, nobody will attend their wedding

    Not actual story subjects

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wedding party wedding drama relationships wedding
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